You were able to look past dementia and saw Mom for the person she really was

We all long to be treated with dignity and respect.  Clients with dementia and other disabilities share this deep need and often express it in compelling ways.  This letter from an adult daughter of a client at Arthur’s Residential Care shares some heartfelt insight into this deep need for dignity and respect.

Thank you so much for all the wonderful care you gave to my Mom.  I can’t tell you how much it hurt everyone in our family to watch Mom’s dementia get worse and worse over the past many years.  One by one most of her past friends stopped coming to visit, as it was often unpleasant.

We who loved her most felt so helpless. While the day care places and later the full-time care places we brought her to offered some respite, I could tell Mom hated those places and it was obvious many of the staff didn’t like Mom. We got calls telling us she had been sent to the hospital because she was “unresponsive” (shutting them out) and one place even called the police because she was striking out at them from her wheelchair.

When we moved Mom to her new home at Arthur’s it was different–I didn’t realize this fully until Mom was dying. When so many of you came to say goodbye, even on your off hours, I was touched beyond words.  And I realized that Mom, in her last couple of years, had managed to make new friends. Your special, wonderful people were able to look past or through her dementia to see my Mom as the person who she really and still was. No wonder my Mom chose to write you all a thank you letter during an amazing lucid moment she had last summer.

I am so glad that we were able to move Mom to Arthur’s and fulfill our promise to our dad that we would always take care of Mom. We did that through your loving care.  Thanks!  ~ from the daughter of an Arthur’s client.

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